Sex, Lies & Videotape

Here is a funny little story about a guy I work with at the dealership. Quagmire (not his real name) is an early forties single guy who likes to pick up older women, take them home and film them having sex. Yesterday, after our morning meeting, we are regailed with tails of his latest conquest. He meets a slightly older woman at a singles mixer at a local hotel bar we have affectionately nicknamed "Menopause Manor". Numerous alcoholic beverages are consumed and she agrees to go home with him. Now Quagmire gets home pours her another glass of wine and immediately checks the black tape covering the little red light on his camcorder. Jump to them falling on the bed in throws of passion. Now this poor woman does not know that she is being filmed. (Does one have to fill out a disclaimer or waiver?) Amateur porn is made. The lighting is bad. The sound quality is a wreck. Even the dialogue is lame. After some polite banter she says she must go. Quagmire rewinds and watches the depravity. Here is the kicker of the story. The woman is more interested in the movie, American Pie, playing on the T.V. in the background. As he explains it, numerous times during his dynamite moves she turns her head to watch the friggin' television. The movie dialogue has overpowered both of them on the amateur porn so that the entire soundtrack is quotes about Stifler's mom. I'm frightlingly intrigued.
American Pie soundtrack clips.
I've got Scotch.
Like Fine Wine
Are you tryin' to seduce me?